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6/13/99
Well, now that Haruka has come in here and messed up all of my nice, neat HTML...yeah right. She does look angry, doesn't she? Mayhaps that's one Sailor Scout that I had best leave somewhat alone. Somewhat. ^_^

I changed my logo. Do you like it? The picture is me, of course, as drawn by my esteemed associate Demon-Peggy. And for tax-evasion purposes, I am afraid that I can no longer refer to myself as Satan™. It seems that Tipper Gore already has that title trademarked, so from now on I am The Weirdo Formerly Known As Satan, or Twfkas. But please, call me Twf for short. Actually, call me Courtney. Most people do, when they aren't using more...colorful adjectives. And I have moved from the kitchen, which Mina took over, to the attic, as it is poorly lit, less prone to fires, and rather cozy, I believe.

And now, for today's update.
Raye: Where do you get off, just coming in here, doing as you please, getting cobwebs over everything? I have half a mind to break both of your legs, Unsuper Scum!

Courtney:Well, if you had only done a better job of cleaning out this bloody attic, maybe there wouldn't be spider guts everywhere, hmmm?

Billy Bob Thorton: Mmmm Hmmm...I reckon I aim to have me some biscuits 'n' mustard, ur sum french-fried potaters, mmm hmmm.

Courtney: Hey Billy Bob, I'm kind of busy right now, could you possibly come back a little later?

Raye: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGG!!!!!!! *angrily swipes at Billy Bob Thorton with broom*



Courtney: Oh, look! Here comes today's musical guests, the Backstreet Boys!


The Backstreet Boys duck under the low lintel, peering cautiously around them. It takes a few minutes for their eyes to adjust to the dim lighting. A.J. takes off his leopard-print cowboy hat and squints. A few seconds later, just as he begins to make out a few sketchy shapes, he is belted squarely between the eyes by a large broom.

Haruka: Hey! Look! It's the BSB! Hey, you guys suck! Go suck on a tribble, nerfherders!

A.J.: Hey everybody, Backstreet's back! Man, these pants are tight.

Nick: *giggle*

Raye: L.E.A.V.E. ALL of you, Backstreet Brats. Now. Get out.

Serena: WOW! It's the BACKSTREET BOYS!! Ohmygosh! Ohmygosh! In MYYYYY attic!! Ohmygosh! Can I have your autographs?!

A.J.: Noooooooo!!!! It's that psycho bunny girl! We must escape!

The BSB flee the attic in a flurry of brooms, shrieks, and crashes. Courtney collapses back into her favorite chair and sighes.

Courtney: Well, I guess I can't sing with them now. And I had my favorite Human League song all ready, too! *hits button on CD player*

*Haruka stands on the Attic's coffee table, adjusts the colored lights over her head, and picks up her mike*

You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
When I met you
I picked you out, I shook you up, and turned you around
Turned you into someone new
Now five years later on you've got the world at your feet

A.J. and Nick sneak back in and crouch behind the couch, waiting for the chorus.

Success has been so easy for you
But don't forget it's me who put you where you are now
And I can put you back down too

*CHORUS*



Nick and A.J. leap up from behind the sofa and while A.J. muffles Haruka, Nick grabs the mike.



Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me
It's much too late to find
You think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

Raye jumps up behind A.J. and Nick, and knocks their heads together. She catches a mike and leaping onto the table, begins singing in her most sultry voice.

Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, oh

A.J. and Nick hop onto chairs on either side of April, and pull off their shirts to reveal matching white tank tops. April lifts up her temple robes, proudly displaying her shiny legs for all present. They begin to do the "Everybody Backstreet's Back" dance in unison.

I was working as a waitress in a cocktail bar
That much is true
But even then I knew I'd find a much better place
Either with or without you
The five years we have had have been such good times
I still love you
But now I think it's time I lived my life on my own
I guess it's just what I must do

*CHORUS*

Don't, don't you want me?
You know I can't believe it when I hear that you won't see me
Don't, don't you want me?
You know I don't believe you when you say that you don't need me
It's much too late to find
You think you've changed your mind
You'd better change it back or we will both be sorry

April rips off her temple robes. Fortunately, she is wearing her Sailor Scout fuku underneath. Not that that's much better than being naked...

Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, oh
Don't you want me baby? Don't you want me, oh

Courtney gets up and flips off her CD player and karaoke machine.

Thank you, and good night. And until next update, remember: We do not gnaw on our kitties.



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